Resolving conflict in the heat of the moment is not always the best time. Taking a time out and stepping back from a situation gives both parties a chance to calm down and think.
Below are some helpful tips for resolving conflict:
1. When the situation is heating up, take a time out. A time out is a chance for you to step away from the situation and think. Arguing in the heat of the moment will get you no where.
2. Set up a time when you are both calm and can come back to talk about the conflict. A time out or stepping away from a situation is not about ignoring the problem or sweeping it under the carpet. It is time spent to think rationally. Once you are both calm, come back and solve the problem.
3. Sit down together. Define the problem or issue of disagreement. There are many times when couples tell me they don’t even know or remember what they are fighting about. Arguments continue to grow if you don’t take a break and step back .
4. Talk about how each of you contributed to the problem/conflict. Be open and honest. Blaming will only start the argument cycle all over again. If the argument starts all over again, take another time out and step away.
5. Brainstorm ways to resolve conflict focusing on solutions rather than what the conflict is about.
6. Agree on new solutions and pick one to try the next time a conflict arises.
7. Reward each other for getting through the argument. If you are a willing participant in the solution your conflicts can be resolved easily.
Divorce isn’t the answer. Divorce brings up a whole new set of problems. Work on the relationship you have and if you need more help contact me at centerofsolutions.net.
I am committed to helping couples learn new ways of communication and problem solving techniques. Together we can find solutions to strengthen your relationship.
If you are tired of the same old argument and the same old conflicts, invest in your marriage. Invest in looking for solutions rather than rehashing the same old problems.